My Friend Ben
Posted: Thu Nov 12, 2015 10:52 am
It was almost a year ago that Jeanne, Geoff and I set out for Namibia as the DLSF reps to see what Helge was doing in a place called Drimiopsis in the Namibian desert. It was such a truly God Guided trip and our happiness of being with Helge on her home turf was with us each day we were together. I must admit that I felt some trepidation when we set out to visit the Drimiopsis camp where Helge is in the process of building an orphanage there. I have seen lots of poverty in our travels to many third world countries and expected to see lots in the camp but I feared my own reflexive reactions which are a combination of anguish for the conditions, guilt for what I have and a bit of repulsion towards those living in such states of deprivation. This is a typical western reaction to how a good portion of the world lives. Having been plunked down onto such foreign soil can certainly be a shock to the senses. In my case I felt exactly as anticipated. I was choked up most of the time when we were there even as the people greeted us with open arms and joyous smiles.
One person stood out from the crowd and struck me deep within my heart. His name was Ben. He was an orphan boy about 12 or 13 who clearly had some disabilities probably resulting from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome since alcoholism is rampant in the camp. He was living rough in the bush and his clothes were torn and dirty.He was one of the first to greet us with a smile and a 'how are you?'. When we responded he would always say that he was fine .He loved to give high fives and considered himself a sort of ambassador showing us around and staying close wherever we went. He was a constant fixture in our activities there and I know that Helge had a special interest in him and his plight and she mothered him as much as she was able
Kids like Ben are victims in many ways. Many strikes are against such vulnerable children as he had no parents, no shelter and very little to sustain him. Everyone there had the challenge of how to survive each day but Ben's challenges were further hampered by his mental disabilities.He was one of the lowest of the low in this camp of many who are hard on their luck. He was a scape goat of sorts for the other kids who picked on him and he was often beaten up by the older kids who used him to vent their own frustrations so Ben's life was one of pain and deprivation even greater than most who lived there. He was bottom of the heap and what he endured must have been beyond any of our abilities to comprehend. Bruises and scars were evident, showing the world that he was indeed the scapegoat for many disturbed children. Yet Ben had compassion and caring in him in spades. He reached out to us in loving ways and he emanated a love which immediately drew me to him. I also recognized something in him that was also in me. That special pain that is wrought from being different and alone. As a child I too felt that pain, not fitting in and being the victim of bullying and harassment. I'm not trying to compare my life to his which would be foolish but there was a resonance and as we continued to bond with him, we felt like we needed to lift him out of this hell. I wanted to rescue him by taking him home with us. My heart was that moved by his plight and my own recognition of a need to heal him and maybe heal myself as well in the process. It was a powerful pull and it haunts me even today.
Today we received word from Helge that Ben passed over into spirit after a short illness. I must confess that my heart is broken for Ben and this inevitable fate as the lost child that he was. He lives on in my mind with very fond memories but I feel such remorse that maybe we could have saved him. The practicalities of such things are onerous and complex. It is one thing to wish to rescue someone and another to actually do it. The road to hell has been paved with good intentions countless times in our world. My desire to enfold him and bring him into our world may have been too much for Ben and for us. We'll never know now as he is now in a different, I hope more loving place. Ben's physical difficulties are no more. I hope that now his loving spirit can be expressed in all its beauty and strength. Ben, may you find peace my dear friend in a world more suited to you. A world where love is a greater currency than physical strength and power. You pass over into a world where you are wealthy and this will carry you far into greater light. You have been set free. Someday we will meet again and you can tell me all about your adventures in spirit. We will high five each other and smile in recognition of our soul bond. I wish you well on your journey my dear sensitive boy and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I will always remember that time when you stroked my arm and gave me strength and comfort as I talked to the elders. You may have done so out of curiosity because your people are not so hairy but for me it was a comfort and it told me so much about who you are.I remember later that day our dear guide Confucius mentioned you in a message during our prayer. He said:
" Like the dear soul who patted this instrument’s arm, his love was felt. Is he not a channel of
God’s Love? This simple and vulnerable child gave love. "
Yes you gave love my brave child even when you were in a place of no love. You are the strongest soul I have ever met. It will be your gift and strength as you move forward. My love is with you. You have taught me much in a very short time and you will remain in my heart always. With love and gratitude......Al
One person stood out from the crowd and struck me deep within my heart. His name was Ben. He was an orphan boy about 12 or 13 who clearly had some disabilities probably resulting from Fetal Alcohol Syndrome since alcoholism is rampant in the camp. He was living rough in the bush and his clothes were torn and dirty.He was one of the first to greet us with a smile and a 'how are you?'. When we responded he would always say that he was fine .He loved to give high fives and considered himself a sort of ambassador showing us around and staying close wherever we went. He was a constant fixture in our activities there and I know that Helge had a special interest in him and his plight and she mothered him as much as she was able
Kids like Ben are victims in many ways. Many strikes are against such vulnerable children as he had no parents, no shelter and very little to sustain him. Everyone there had the challenge of how to survive each day but Ben's challenges were further hampered by his mental disabilities.He was one of the lowest of the low in this camp of many who are hard on their luck. He was a scape goat of sorts for the other kids who picked on him and he was often beaten up by the older kids who used him to vent their own frustrations so Ben's life was one of pain and deprivation even greater than most who lived there. He was bottom of the heap and what he endured must have been beyond any of our abilities to comprehend. Bruises and scars were evident, showing the world that he was indeed the scapegoat for many disturbed children. Yet Ben had compassion and caring in him in spades. He reached out to us in loving ways and he emanated a love which immediately drew me to him. I also recognized something in him that was also in me. That special pain that is wrought from being different and alone. As a child I too felt that pain, not fitting in and being the victim of bullying and harassment. I'm not trying to compare my life to his which would be foolish but there was a resonance and as we continued to bond with him, we felt like we needed to lift him out of this hell. I wanted to rescue him by taking him home with us. My heart was that moved by his plight and my own recognition of a need to heal him and maybe heal myself as well in the process. It was a powerful pull and it haunts me even today.
Today we received word from Helge that Ben passed over into spirit after a short illness. I must confess that my heart is broken for Ben and this inevitable fate as the lost child that he was. He lives on in my mind with very fond memories but I feel such remorse that maybe we could have saved him. The practicalities of such things are onerous and complex. It is one thing to wish to rescue someone and another to actually do it. The road to hell has been paved with good intentions countless times in our world. My desire to enfold him and bring him into our world may have been too much for Ben and for us. We'll never know now as he is now in a different, I hope more loving place. Ben's physical difficulties are no more. I hope that now his loving spirit can be expressed in all its beauty and strength. Ben, may you find peace my dear friend in a world more suited to you. A world where love is a greater currency than physical strength and power. You pass over into a world where you are wealthy and this will carry you far into greater light. You have been set free. Someday we will meet again and you can tell me all about your adventures in spirit. We will high five each other and smile in recognition of our soul bond. I wish you well on your journey my dear sensitive boy and I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. I will always remember that time when you stroked my arm and gave me strength and comfort as I talked to the elders. You may have done so out of curiosity because your people are not so hairy but for me it was a comfort and it told me so much about who you are.I remember later that day our dear guide Confucius mentioned you in a message during our prayer. He said:
" Like the dear soul who patted this instrument’s arm, his love was felt. Is he not a channel of
God’s Love? This simple and vulnerable child gave love. "
Yes you gave love my brave child even when you were in a place of no love. You are the strongest soul I have ever met. It will be your gift and strength as you move forward. My love is with you. You have taught me much in a very short time and you will remain in my heart always. With love and gratitude......Al